Join the conversation as Dr. Kanter shares what science tells us about the importance of social connection, and how it can help us stay well during the pandemic. Kanter and Connolly also speak with Jennifer Barr Dean, whose mother died last year. The pandemic has put an end to weekly family dinners with her dad and her sister, and she discusses how that’s bringing up feelings of grief and loss about her mother. Kanter is also conducting an ongoing study about the effects the COVID-19 pandemic has on mental health and relationships over time. You can enroll in the study or find out more information about it here. The following are some highlights from an edited transcript of the interview. RELATED: Tippi Coronavirus: Tips for Living With COVID-19 Maureen Connolly: You’ve written recently about the effects of social distancing, loneliness, and the importance of staying connected. What do you think about all this in light of the COVID-19 pandemic? Jonathan Kanter: It really is an amazing moment in time. It’s like the best of times and the worst of times simultaneously. The worst of times is rather obvious. There’s a tremendous amount of suffering here in the United States and across the world. And [it’s] the kind of suffering that for many of us, we’re really not used to. It’s hard to speak of a silver lining right now, but the best of times [part] is that people are really connecting with each other in ways that somebody like me has known to be important my whole career. Now I’m seeing people doing this naturally, people coping and being really resilient in all these really beautiful ways. If we could bottle some of that spirit and keep it going even after this crisis is over, I think that would be a real silver lining. RELATED: How to Start a Self-Care Routine You’ll Follow Connolly: This crisis has uprooted our lives in ways we never imagined. Has this disruption of everyday life changed perspectives about how we treat and think about other people, and the world we share together? Kanter: For people who have experienced a major life-changing event, like recovering from an accident or serious illness, it really puts them in contact with the meaning of life. Many people have these experiences of suddenly knowing what’s important, and I think in some ways this crisis is doing this for us on a much more massive social scale. Many of us are feeling in touch with what really matters right now; the crisis has helped us separate all the stuff that distracts us on a day-to-day basis, and focus on what’s important. And again, I say this with a lot of compassion for people who are really suffering with grief and loss right now. But at the same time, I think this getting back to basics is really important for people. RELATED: 12 Questions Answered on How to Handle Anxiety in the Time of COVID-19 Connolly: The pandemic has now been going on for months, and none of us really know when it’s going to end. Is there anything reassuring we can think about as we work towards getting through this event? Kanter: Some advice that I do think is useful to try and share, is the idea that we are really facing something most of us have never faced before. But our human bodies are actually prepared for this. Over the course of evolution, our bodies were designed to handle incredible amounts of stress and suffering. So our bodies know how to respond, but our minds don’t necessarily follow along with our bodies. Our minds may tell us this is overwhelming, this is unacceptable, I can’t go on, I can’t keep doing this. Try to accept that what we’re feeling in our bodies is a normal response to an abnormal situation, and keep doing our best. I know this is easy to say and hard to implement, but let’s give each other some slack right now — everyone is doing the best they can. Again try to just accept what you’re feeling, and continue to try to support each other in these times.
